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Reigniting My Passion For Creative Writing Saved Me From An Emotional Downspiral

I am a mother of 4 children, ages 7 to 12 years old, one of which has Down Syndrome.

During the uncertainty of COVID-19, I began writing and publishing books as an outlet. Painting and writing kept me from becoming depressed during quarantine. In the beginning, as a family, we adjusted well. Like many others, we were under the belief it would be a short stint at home, with our computers, sitting in our dining room on concurrent Zoom meetings. As time went on, it eroded away the initial confidence that this was only temporary. I had no time to myself, to do chores, or tend to business matters. I spent my entire day assisting 4 children with their schoolwork and daily tech issues. I was the helpdesk, the chef, the teacher, the tutor, FedEx Kinkos, and at the end of the day I was mentally exhausted. My special needs child was not getting an appropriate education and I could see her academic decline. I looked in the mirror and saw a new figure that I wasn't excited about. In the first few weeks of quarantine, I had stopped working out and each time someone said "the new normal" I wanted to kick them in the solar plexus. I remained even keeled for my children, but I knew that I had to find something to keep myself mentally and emotionally afloat.

After I put my children to sleep each night, I would lay in bed, looking at Netflix, and zone out. My mind raced and I felt like Bill Murray in Groundhog day. Before I had children, I loved painting, creative writing and singing. I had memories of how relaxed I felt when I entered into the world of the book that I had constructed on paper. The writing and stories were an escape from reality. I wanted. and needed desperately, to get that energy back.

The next morning I woke up earlier than everyone, at 4:44am, did some writing, and worked out. After completing my workout, I walked back up my stairs and felt a sense of accomplishment. Everything felt a little lighter on my shoulders. As usual, I made breakfast for everyone and continued the same thing the next day. Wash, Rinse, Repeat, it became my new routine. I began writing in the evenings as well, after putting my children to sleep. Writing made me feel tingly inside and was a getaway from the daily doldrums of being stuck inside. Writing helped me escape the prison of my own worrisome, repetitive thoughts. It freed me. I have now published fictional romance stories and one non-fiction story on and a few on as well. The focus of my fictional books are married female characters in rather messy, sometimes trifling, very passionate and difficult situations. I can only hope that my highly active imagination brings some enjoyment to whoever reads my creations, some flowers out of my mud.

Happy Tuesday.

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